Once again, we are expected to believe that a woman would knowingly, wittingly and WILLINGLY leave Christopher Meloni and all his foreheaded goodness for Richard. Gere. Where…am I? Is this the merry old land of Oz? Who keeps casting these men in the same movie with RICHARD. GERE. as the lead? Can someone lose a job, if not more? For verily I say unto thee. Nay. *shakes head* Nay. Needless to say, if you wanna get a new agent, Christopher Darling, I’m…radically incompetent. BUT. Very pretty.

Now seems like a good time to mention the two-night-long-dream of Vincent D’onofrio. To be fair, the first night, the dream was actually about Robert Goren. The next night it was about the real Vincent. If you don’t see the connection between this paragraph and the first, get. out. Get off my page. Now. And how lame am I that I really had to look up his imdb page to make sure he really is married. ‘Cause, you know, my being married and not knowing him now or in the future have little to do with it.

Can I stab the “men” of NKOTB, only one of whom seems to demonstrate the necessary shame (and probably only because his last name is Wahlberg) … is it weird that the dude who looked like a monkey when I was ten still looks like a monkey? Or proof that I was never cruel, just daringly accurate? You decide.

Can I be plenty mad that Britney Spears and MTV think they’re funny. Stop me – WAIT. I just saw a picture of Dj-ji-ji-mon with the thing. Gawd, she looks boring next to him. … Clearly I’d rather internet surf than write. TOODLES.

ONE MORE THING:

I have a couple of questions for this picture. Beaucoup des questions. Um, does the one in white look like a retarded kid who is about to “throw down” with an inanimate object? And… Joe, is it? In the middle… who did NOT tell you that Superman 7 is already cast? And finally, you there… on the slow boat to Vegas lounge-singing? Yes, you. Please dial back on the smirk that shows you just might think you’re sexier than the mirror would attest. In conclusion… I like that Burnin Up song.